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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savage´s sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert´s enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Eye Quotes
  • That reminds me to remark, in passing, that the very first official thing I did, in my administration-and it was on the first day of it, too-was to start a patent office; for I knew that a country without a patent office and good patent laws was just a crab, and couldn't travel any way but sideways or backways.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Science Quotes
  • I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Father Quotes
  • Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly - a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Opportunity Quotes
  • Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn; and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Order Quotes
  • Who are the oppressors? The few: the King, the capitalist, and a handful of other overseers and superintendents. Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth; the valuable personages; the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Bread Quotes