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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • [I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Speak Quotes
  • No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Skulls Quotes , Flying Quotes
  • We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Math Quotes , Science Quotes
  • Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another. In our day, he is always some man's slave for wages, and does that man's work; and this slave has other slaves under him for minor wages, and they do his work. The higher animals are the only ones who exclusively do their own work and provide their own living.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes
  • The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes
  • If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty. If it is loaded my immortal and inflexible purpose is to get over the fence and go home. My invariable practice in war has been to bring out of every fight two-thirds more men than when I went in. This seems to me Napoleonic in its grandeur.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Home Quotes