Mark Twain Quotes, Epitaph Quotes, Ought Quotes

If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Epitaph Quotes , Ought Quotes

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Men Quotes

The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Government Quotes , Order Quotes

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Circles Quotes , Lines Quotes

A gentleman is a man who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Play Quotes

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Age Quotes

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Lying Quotes

That is an editor. He is trying to think of a word. He props his feet on a chair, which is the editor's way; then he can think better. I do not care much for this one; his ears are not alike; still, editor suggests the sound of Edward, and he will do. I could make him better if I had a model, but I made this one from memory. But is no particular matter; they all look alike, anyway. They are conceited and troublesome, and don't pay enough.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Conceited Quotes

If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Misuse Quotes

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes

You may have noticed that the less I know about a subject the more confidence I have, and the more new light I throw on it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Light Quotes , May Quotes

The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Unspoken Words Quotes , Spoken Word Quotes

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Tails Quotes

Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Race Quotes

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frogs Quotes , Ends Quotes

Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted; one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

I do not like work even when someone else is doing it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes