Mark Twain Quotes, Believe Quotes, Literature Quotes

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Literature Quotes

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bible Quotes , Girl Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Wine is a clog to the pen, not an inspiration.

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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Given Quotes

Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Lying Quotes

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly ofthe storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sex Quotes , Young Quotes

It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one's self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Quotes , Expression Quotes

Whatever you say, say it with conviction

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Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Beer Quotes

It is often the case that a man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Men Quotes

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Wine Quotes

How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death; and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brave Quotes , Danger Quotes

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Home Quotes

The heart is the real fountain of youth.

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Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Baby Quotes , Real Quotes