Mark Twain Quotes, Laughter Quotes, Philosophy Quotes

Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Laughter Quotes , Philosophy Quotes

To me [Edgar Allen Poe's] prose is unreadable—like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , Austin Quotes

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Theatre Quotes , Stories Quotes

If you must be indiscrete, be discrete in your indiscretion.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moderation Quotes , Discrete Quotes

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A pilot must have a memory developed to absolute perfection. But there are two higher qualities which he also must have. He must have good and quick judgment and decision, and a cool, calm courage that no peril can shake.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Two Quotes

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Laughing Quotes

He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Work Quotes

The ancients stole all our ideas from us.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

It were not best that we should all think alike.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Opinion Quotes

Do something everyday that you don't want to do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Everyday Quotes , Want Quotes

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Animal Quotes

The Christian Bible is a drug store. It´s contents have remained the same but the medical practice continues. For 1,800 years these changes were slight--scarcely noticeable... The dull and ignorant physician day and night, and all the days and all the nights, drenched his patient with vast and hideous doses of the most repulsive drugs to be found in the store´s stock. He kept him religion sick for eighteen centuries, and allowed him not a well day during all that time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Night Quotes

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Men Quotes

Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no such thing as free will in the composition of any human being that ever lived.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Men Quotes

Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Answers Quotes , Golden Quotes

A man who chooses not to read is just as ignorant as a man who cannot read.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Miracle Quotes , Saint Quotes

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Blood Quotes , Swim Quotes