Mark Twain Quotes, Way Quotes, Taught Quotes

He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Way Quotes , Taught Quotes

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

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Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which the other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Cat Quotes

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the "what is next", of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

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Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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There isn't a Parallel of Latitude but thinks it would have been the Equator if it had had its rights.

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My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders.

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We chase phantoms half the days of our lives. It is well if we learn wisdom even then, and save the other half.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Phantoms Quotes , Half Quotes

A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Able Quotes

The citizen who sees his society's democratic clothes being worn out and does not cry it out, is not a patriot, but a traitor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Liberty Quotes

[N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more.

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Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Sweet Quotes

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Children Quotes

I thought tamarinds were made to eat, but that was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me that they were rather sour that year. They pursed up my lips, till they resembled the stem-end of a tomato, and I had to take my sustenance through a quill for twenty-four hours. They sharpened my teeth till I could have shaved with them, and gave them a 'wire edge' that I was afraid would stay; but a citizen said 'no, it will come off when the enamel does' - which was comforting, at any rate. I found, afterward, that only strangers eat tamarinds - but they only eat them once.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Ideas Quotes