Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Thinking Quotes

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Educational Quotes

Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.

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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Horse Quotes

Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light and leading by contrast.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Character Quotes

Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.

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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

It is often the case that a man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

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The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Editors Quotes

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Law Quotes

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Addiction Quotes , Smoking Quotes

I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Reading Quotes

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

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Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Cities Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes