Mark Twain Quotes, Children Quotes, Men Quotes

If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Men Quotes

When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Majority Quotes

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , June Quotes , July Quotes

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , School Quotes

My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Theatre Quotes , Stories Quotes

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Crafts Quotes

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Doubt Quotes

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friends Quotes , Community Quotes

If true, rarely beautiful. If beautiful, rarely true.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes

Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have the power to rationalize?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Heaven Quotes

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eye Quotes , Men Quotes

But that's always the way; it don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person's conscience ain't got no sense, and just goes for him anyway. If I had a yaller dog that didn't know no more than a person's conscience does I would pison him. It takes up more room than all the rest of a person's insides, and yet ain't no good, nohow.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Integrity Quotes

All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Care Quotes

when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Race Quotes

Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Moving Quotes

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Long Quotes

It is a worthy thing to fight for one's freedom; it is another sight finer to fight for another man's.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fighting Quotes , Men Quotes