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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do. Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Husband Quotes
  • Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Eight Quotes
  • Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Museums Quotes
  • I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Years Quotes
  • If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging? Framed in a more positive light, this tells us also that if we wish to accomplish a particular thing then we need to increase our level of desire for that thing and to create or seek out the opportunities and right environment for it to happen without fail.
    • 6 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Opportunity Quotes