Mark Twain Quotes, Christian Quotes, Atheism Quotes

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheism Quotes

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Men Quotes

The truth hurts, but silence kills.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Silence Quotes

To stand still is to fall behind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Behinds Quotes

We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes

Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , Otters Quotes

If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Nice Quotes

There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Summer Quotes , Doors Quotes

History doesn't repeat itself; it rhymes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rhyme Quotes

A man may have no bad habits and have worse

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , May Quotes

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes

It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Ambition Quotes

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

That is the way of the scientist. He will spend thirty years in building up a mountain range of facts with the intent to prove a certain theory; then he is so happy with his achievement that as a rule he overlooks the main chief fact of all-that all his accumulation proves an entirely different thing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Mountain Ranges Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Supposing is good, but finding out is better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Learning Quotes , Science Quotes

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Country Quotes

But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Boys Quotes

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Broken Quotes , Smoking Quotes

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Bullying Quotes