Mark Twain Quotes, Happiness Quotes, Impossible Quotes

Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Impossible Quotes

I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Writing Quotes

All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Use Quotes

It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Faith Quotes , Atheist Quotes

The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the mechanism of the inimitable puppets that are going to perform. How I used to laugh at Simon Tapperwit, and the Wellers, and a host more! But I can't do it now somehow; and time, it seems to me, is the true test of humour. It must be antiseptic.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I am not an American. I am the American.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Broken Quotes , Smoking Quotes

There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Men Quotes

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

I'm merely running some errands. This is now off the record.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Records Quotes

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sight Quotes , Hands Quotes

Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vacation Quotes , Secret Quotes

No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Accumulation Quotes , Interest Quotes

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mom Quotes , Baby Quotes

The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Church Choir Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Yesterday Quotes , Tomorrow Quotes

When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes , Order Quotes

Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Giving Quotes