Mark Twain Quotes, Time Quotes, Ignorance Quotes

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Cat Quotes

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Light Quotes

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Important Quotes

Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Guides Quotes , Masters Quotes

In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies; the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Science Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Idiot Quotes , Evidence Quotes

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , German Language Quotes , Giving Quotes

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Time Quotes

Reputation is a hall-mark: it can remove doubt from pure silver, and it can also make the plated article pass for pure.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Reputation Quotes

All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle — keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Taken Quotes

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Funeral Quotes

Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Needs Quotes

This is the only sane clerical the earthquake has exposed to view yet.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Views Quotes , Earthquakes Quotes

Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Men Quotes

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Hamlet And Ophelia Quotes