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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.
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- In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?
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- Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
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- Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it.
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- This editor is a critic. He has pulled out his carving-knife and his tomahawk and is starting after a book which he is going to have for breakfast.
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- Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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- History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise.
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- We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries; it is only when we set out to discover "the secret of God" that our difficulties disappear.
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- I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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- Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
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- What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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- Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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- Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
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- If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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- Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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- The difference between those that succeed and those that fail is, those that succeeded tried.
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- Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are impossible
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- We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
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- A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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- There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.
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