Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Soap Bubbles Quotes , World Quotes

Too much is just enough.

6 years ago

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I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moon Quotes , Religion Quotes

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

6 years ago

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I can speak French but I cannot understand it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Speaks French Quotes , Speak Quotes

All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Daughter Quotes , People Quotes

Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Travel Quotes

I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wantedotherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Natural Quotes , Clock Quotes

No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Skulls Quotes , Flying Quotes

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Virtue Quotes

The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Light Quotes , Water Quotes

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atoms Quotes

when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Doe Quotes

Time spent with your children is time wisely spent.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Your Children Quotes

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , College Quotes , People Quotes

Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Politics Quotes , Idiot Quotes

There is nothing but that frail breastwork of earth between the people and destruction.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Earth Quotes

The future interests me - I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Future Quotes , Interest Quotes