Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Optimistic Quotes , Clothes Quotes

An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth a fact that is recognized by the law of libel .

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Law Quotes

In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Support Quotes , Age Quotes

I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , History Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pity Quotes

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Numbers Quotes , Remember Quotes

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Excellence Quotes

Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it is a good thing!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liberty Quotes , Trials Quotes

Word it as softly as you please, the spirit of patriotism is the spirit of the dog and wolf. The moment there is a misunderstanding about a boundary line or a hamper of fish or some other squalid matter, see patriotism rise, and hear him split the universe with is war-whoop. The spirit of patriotism being in its nature jealous and selfish, is just in man's line, it comes natural to him - he can live up to all its requirements to the letter; but the spirit of Christianity is not in its entirety possible to him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Selfish Quotes

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Getting Older Quotes , Complaining Quotes

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , Race Quotes

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , Gone Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes

What is there in Rome for me to see that others have not seen before me? What is there for me to touch that others have not touched? What is there for me to feel, to learn, to hear, to know, that shall thrill me before it pass to others? What can I discover?--Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. One charm of travel dies here.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rome Quotes , Thrill Quotes