Mark Twain Quotes, Time Quotes, Lying Quotes

A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Lying Quotes

I am personally acquainted with hundreds of journalists, and the opinion of the majority of them would not be worth tuppence in private, but when they speak in print it is the newspaper that is talking (the pygmy scribe is not visible) and then their utterances shake the community like the thunders of prophecy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Media Quotes , Talking Quotes

Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Keeping Promises Quotes , World Quotes

Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sick Quotes , Firsts Quotes

'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Heart Quotes

There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Heart Quotes

All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , School Quotes

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Baby Quotes

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Tails Quotes

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Cat Quotes

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Fighting Quotes

Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous - it makes all the difference in the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , World Quotes

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Knives Quotes

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Bird Quotes

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart-a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Family Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes

By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don't know how I got in and can't find the way out, but I'm having a booming time all to myself.Don't know what a Schelgesetzentwurf is, but I keep as excited over it and as worried about it as if it were my own child. I simply live on the Sch.; it is my daily bread. I wouldn't have the question settled for anything in the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Reading Quotes

My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Animal Quotes