Mark Twain Quotes, Doubt Quotes, Watches Quotes

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Watches Quotes

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Promise Quotes

God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Hands Quotes

You cannot have all chiefs; you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Equality Quotes , Perfect Quotes

When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Government Quotes

On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there's any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dance Quotes , Dancing Quotes

The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Animal Quotes

Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Fun Quotes

I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result profoundly humiliating to me. For it obliges me to renounce my allegiance to the Darwinian theory of the Ascent of Man from the Lower Animals; since it now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one, this new and truer one to be named the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Animal Quotes

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Giving Quotes , Furniture Quotes

Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Intellectual Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Lightning Quotes

Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Needs Quotes , Humans Quotes

In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Simple Quotes

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Leadership Quotes

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

School gets in the way of my learning.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , People Quotes

If they [the dead] should speak, it would be found that in matters of opinion no departed person was exactly what he had passed for in life. They would realise, deep down, that they, and whole nations along with them, are not really what they seem to be-and never can be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Departed Quotes , Would Be Quotes