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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work.
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- Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
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- In love, you pay as you leave.
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- Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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- Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
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- Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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- ...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
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- Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.
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- Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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- Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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- Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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- All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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- For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.
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- I would not rob you of your food or your clothes or your umbrella, but if I caught your German out I would take it. But I don't study any more,- I have given it up.
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- A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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- There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
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- Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
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- School gets in the way of my learning.
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- I do see that there is an argument against suicide: the grief of the worshipers left behind, the awful famine in their hearts, these are too costly terms for the release.
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- But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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