Mark Twain Quotes, Practice Quotes, Giving Quotes

It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. "Give them to others"-that's my motto.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Practice Quotes , Giving Quotes

There is no humor in heaven.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Thinking Quotes

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Brotherhood Of Man Quotes

In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Night Quotes , Race Quotes

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Judging Quotes , People Quotes

If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

When you catch an adjective, kill it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Editing Quotes

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Death Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Conceited Quotes

As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy; it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Boys Quotes

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Better Days Quotes , Knows Quotes

Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Positive Quotes

This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Book Quotes

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Worried Quotes

What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Schedules Quotes , Crafts Quotes