Mark Twain Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Exercise Quotes

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Exercise Quotes

I can speak French but I cannot understand it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Speaks French Quotes , Speak Quotes

My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory--an office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and dignities of Treasurer, Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting Governor in the Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a year and the title of "Mr. Secretary," gave to the great position an air of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and ignorant, and I envied my brother.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brother Quotes , Book Quotes

Whatever you say, say it with conviction

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Conviction Quotes , Over Confidence Quotes

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Lazy Quotes

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes , Heaven Quotes

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Comparison is the death of joy.

6 years ago

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Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

6 years ago

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To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Hamlet And Ophelia Quotes

They did not know it was impossible so they did it

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Attitude Quotes , Law Of Attraction Quotes

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Feet Quotes , Long Quotes

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Math Quotes , Science Quotes

We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Struggle Quotes , Training Quotes

If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Eye Quotes , Men Quotes

Nations do not think, they only feel. They get their feelings at second hand through their temperaments, not their brains. A nation can be brought -- by force of circumstances, not argument -- to reconcile itself to any kind of government or religion that can be devised; in time it will fit itself to the required conditions; later it will prefer them and will fiercely fight for them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fighting Quotes , Thinking Quotes