Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The Party System was founded on one national notion of fair play. It was the notion that folly and futility should be fairly divided between both sides.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Party Quotes , Humor Quotes

I understand small business growth. I was one.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Business Quotes , Humor Quotes

Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is-I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , People Quotes

When you turn your heart and your life over to Christ, when you accept Christ as the savior, it changes your heart.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Heart Quotes , Humor Quotes

There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

I think there is some methodology in my travels.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Thinking Quotes

We have set out to promote the work of community and faith-based charities. Government cannot be replaced by charities, but it can welcome them as partners instead of resenting them as rivals.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Government Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There are prayers that help us last through the day, or endure the night. There are prayers of friends and strangers, that give us strength for the journey. And there are prayers that yield our will to a will greater than our own.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Prayer Quotes , Humor Quotes

It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way - they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Country Quotes , Humor Quotes

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We come before God to pray for the missing and the dead, and for those who loved them... Our purpose as a nation is firm, yet our wounds as a people are recent and unhealed and lead us to pray... This world he created is of moral design. Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance, and love have no end, and the Lord of life holds all who die and all who mourn... Neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth can separate us from God's love.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Grief Quotes , Humor Quotes

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Political Quotes

We're now interested in finding those who may attack America and arrest them before they do. We've had over nearly a thousand people have been detained in America and questioned about their motives and their intentions.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , America Quotes

When Caesar says, 'Do this', it is performed.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Humor Quotes

Our new faith-based laws have removed government as a roadblock to people of faith who hear the call.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Government Quotes

I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Humor Quotes , Optimistic Quotes