Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Evil Quotes, Enemy Quotes

Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.

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OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an "old man". Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an "old" book.

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HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance.

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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

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Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command

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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

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COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

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PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

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Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.

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Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.

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NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

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UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes