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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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- CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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- LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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- Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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- PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
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- POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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- LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".
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- LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
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- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
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- art, n. This word has no definition.
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- Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
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- OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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- PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."
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- PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.
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- San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
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- Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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- An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
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- At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.
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