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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- art, n. This word has no definition.
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- Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
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- GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.
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- CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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- RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.
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- In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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- SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.
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- Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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- Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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- Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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- Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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- Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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- PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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- Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
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- RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.
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- PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.
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- CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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- Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
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- Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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