Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Time Quotes, Twenties Quotes

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

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DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper - the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Business Quotes , Night Quotes

REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired; Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Desire Quotes , Denial Quotes

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

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Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

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URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , New York Quotes , Rights Quotes

MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mean Quotes , Degrees Quotes

CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, "Every man his own horse."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Horse Quotes

The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.

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MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Needs Quotes , Structure Quotes

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.

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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,' said Brillat-Savarin, beginning an anecdote. 'What!' interrupted Rochebriant; 'eating dinner in a drawing-room?' 'I must beg you to observe, monsieur,' explained the great gastronome, 'that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before.'

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Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Growth Quotes , Definitions Quotes

ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Long Quotes

To seek a justification for a decision already made.

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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes