Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Law Quotes, Dice Quotes

Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession; it meant "own," and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.

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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

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Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

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OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.

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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose

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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

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While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.

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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

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UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

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RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

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SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.

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