Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Fashion Quotes, Learning Quotes

PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.

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EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.

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A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.

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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

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It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

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Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.

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HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.

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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.

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Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.

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You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

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REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

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Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

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PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe."

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