Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wish Quotes, Tongue Quotes

Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Tongue Quotes

MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fighting Quotes , Evil Quotes

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Men Quotes

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Teacher Quotes , Boys Quotes

Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Fall Quotes

INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Two Quotes , Understanding Quotes

Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Heaven Quotes

Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Truth Is Quotes , Can Not Quotes

FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Men Quotes

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Beach Quotes

Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wine Quotes , Definitions Quotes

DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Politics Quotes , Delegation Quotes

A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Popular Vote Quotes , Sovereign Quotes

LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Nature Quotes

A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Mean Quotes

HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Europe Quotes , Lasts Quotes

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Affliction Quotes , Tongue Quotes

TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Greed Quotes , Tariffs Quotes