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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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- PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
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- MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
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- MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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- MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
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- Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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- Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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- An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.
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- VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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- PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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- They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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- Suddenly to change one's opinions and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turn-coat by some of our partisan journals.
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- In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
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- Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
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- Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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- Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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- DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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- SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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- Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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- RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.
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