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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
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- A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create something that would justify them. The world is all created,said God, but you have overlooked something
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- Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
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- Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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- In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.
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- Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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- LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
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- HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
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- Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
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- Doubt is the father of invention.
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- Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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- WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
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- PLATITUDE, n. The fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A jelly-fish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. A desiccated epigram.
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- BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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- There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must.
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- Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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- picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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- PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
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- BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.
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- EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Food Quotes