Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Country Quotes, Men Quotes

Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

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Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

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An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

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Example is better than following it.

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REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

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Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

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MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Kings Quotes , Order Quotes

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Denial Quotes

EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.

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TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Insomnia Quotes

CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

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