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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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- IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
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- Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
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- CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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- Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
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- MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
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- Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
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- Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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- Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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- A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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- MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
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- RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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- RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
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- USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.
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- A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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- A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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- April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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- RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.
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- CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Future Quotes