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Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes 192
- If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Fun Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Beer Quotes
- ... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.
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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Running Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- ... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes
- The French complain of everything, and always.
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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Party Quotes
- I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eating Quotes
- A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I don't even know what street Canada is on.
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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Canada Quotes
- The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.
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Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes
- Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well.
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Tags : Alan Thicke Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Thinking Quotes
- ... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Communication Quotes , Humorous Quotes