Mark Twain Quotes, Children Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes

But it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in the most humorous sadness.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sadness Quotes

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

We (The British) have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ocean Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vices Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Mean Quotes

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Devil Quotes

Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Business Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Stories Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes