Mark Twain Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Exercise Quotes

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Exercise Quotes

Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to be one of the great cosmic elementary forces. When the atom of hydrogen draws the atom of chlorine towards it to form the perfected molecule of hydrochloric acid, the force which it exerts may be intrinsically similar to that which draws me to you. Attraction and repulsion appear to be the primary forces. This is attraction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Taken Quotes

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Biblical Quotes

I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything that I can see with my naked eye.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Eye Quotes

"Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn't read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy, and was guilty of other glaring pious frauds.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Purpose Quotes

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Devil Quotes

We (The British) have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ocean Quotes

I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; not the soldier's which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Nice Quotes , Humorous Quotes