Mark Twain Quotes, Religious Quotes, Humorous Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A joke is a very serious thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , War Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.

5 years ago

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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fitness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life And Love Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Crafts Quotes