T. S. Eliot Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Nature Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Drinking Quotes

He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind freely, or the blank verse shall halt fort.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Kings Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Animal Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

...it is not necessary to the child to awaken to the sense of the strange and humorous by giving a man a luminous nose...to the child it is sufficiently strange and humorous to have a nose at all.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; not the soldier's which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Nice Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An absence of antecedents and of relatives is sometimes an aid rather than an impediment to social advancement . . .

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes