Winston Churchill Quotes, Communication Quotes, Humorous Quotes

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Communication Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Running Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Beer Quotes

Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them.

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Brother Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Nature Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes

I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; not the soldier's which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Nice Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Party Quotes