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Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes 192
- There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vanity Quotes
- Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else unless it is an enemy.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Men Quotes
- Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
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Tags : Abraham Kaplan Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ophelia Quotes
- I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes