Mark Twain Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Ophelia Quotes

But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Ophelia Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Devil Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Hands Quotes

Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.

5 years ago

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Tags : Niccolo Machiavelli Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Communication Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vanity Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

5 years ago

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Happy Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my derision and contempt . . .

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Purpose Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Boffin sat staring at mid-air, and Mrs. Wilfer sat silently giving them to understand that every breath she drew required to be drawn with a self-denial rarely paralleled in history.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes