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Humorous Quotes
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Humorous Quotes 192
- Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Communication Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Fun Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.
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Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes
- There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- "Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes
- You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
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Tags : Adolphus Busch Quotes , Money Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.
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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Lying Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes
- I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The funniest things are the forbidden.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage.
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Tags : Niccolo Machiavelli Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Opportunity Quotes