Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Strong Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

This looks like one of those unwelcome social summonses which call upon a man either to be bored or to lie.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Lying Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al Bernstein Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Knowledge Quotes

"It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Life Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Brain Quotes

Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Think! I've got enough to do, and little enough to get for it, without thinking.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Fun Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes