Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Birth Quotes, Poet Quotes

It occurred to me that I would like to be a poet. The chief qualification, I understand is that you must be born. Well, I hunted up my birth certificate, and found that I was all right on that score.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Birth Quotes , Poet Quotes

By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

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He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Christian Quotes , Facts Quotes

I am not collecting copies of the cheaper editions of Omar Khayyám. I gave the last four that I received to the lift-boy, and I like to think of him reading them, with FitzGerald's notes, to his aged mother. Lift-boys always have aged mothers; shows such nice feeling on their part, I think.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Mother Quotes , Nice Quotes

A beautifully constructed borshch, such as you are going to experience presently, ought not only to banish conversation but almost to annihilate thought.

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To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening.

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The man is a common murderer. A common murderer, possible, but a very uncommon cook.

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I hate babies. They're so human.

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Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

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If he had unlimited money at his disposal, he might go into the wilds somewhere and shoot big game. I never know what the big game have done to deserve it, but they do help to deflect the destructive energies of some of our social misfits.

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I hate posterity - it's so fond of having the last word.

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The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.

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It is an admitted fact that the ordinary tomtit of commerce has a sounder aesthetic taste than the average female relative in the country.

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And the vagueness of his alarm added to its terrors; when once you have taken the Impossible into your calculations its possibilities become practically limitless.

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But, good gracious, you've got to educate him first. You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

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Her frocks are built in Paris, but she wears them with a strong English accent.

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There are certain fixed rules that one observes for one's own comfort. For instance, never be flippantly rude to any inoffensive grey-bearded stranger that you may meet in pine forests or hotel smoking-rooms on the Continent. It always turns out to be the King of Sweden.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Kings Quotes , Rude Quotes

There was something alike terrifying and piteous in the spectacle of these frail old morsels of humanity consecrating their last flickering energies to the task of making each other wretched. Hatred seemed to be the one faculty which had survived in undiminished vigor where all else was dropping into ordered and symmetrical decay.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Hatred Quotes , Humanity Quotes