George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Witty Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

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You know, Tolstoy, like myself, wasn't taken in by superstitions like science and medicine.

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Property, said Proudhon, is theft. This is the only perfect truism that has been uttered on the subject.

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We are more gullible and superstitious today than we were in the Middle Ages, and an example of modern credulity is the widespread belief that the Earth is round. The average man can advance not a single reason for thinking that the Earth is round. He merely swallows this theory because there is something about it that appeals to the twentieth century mentality.

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Bible worship, though at its best it may achieve sublimity by keeping its head in the skies, may also make itself both ridiculousand dangerous by having its feet off the ground.

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The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.

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Even to this day it is easier than it ought to be for me to get a rise out of an American by telling him something about himself which is equally true about every human being on the face of the globe. He at once resents this as a disparagement and an assertion on my part that people in other parts of the globe are not like that, and are loftily superior to such weaknesses.

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Stop being Jews and start being human beings.

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If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.

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We want a few mad people now. See where the sane ones have landed us!

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I hate performers who debase great works of art; I long for their annihilation.

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He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

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Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

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Think what cowards men would be if they had to bear children. Women are altogether a superior species.

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The art of government is the organization of idolatry. The bureaucracy consists of functionaries; the aristocracy, of idols; the democracy, of idolaters. The populace cannot understand the bureaucracy: it can only worship the national idols.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Art Quotes , Government Quotes

Even under the most perfect Social Democracy we should, without Communism, still be living like hogs, except that each hog would get his fair share of grub.... Whilst we are hogs, let us at least be well-fed, healthy, reciprocally useful hogs, instead of--well, instead of the sort we are at present.

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Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity, and fashion will drive them to acquire any custom.

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The epithet beautiful is used by surgeons to describe operations which their patients describe as ghastly, by physicists to describe methods of measurement which leave sentimentalists cold, by lawyers to describe cases which ruin all the parties to them, and by lovers to describe the objects of their infatuation, however unattractive they may appear to the unaffected spectators.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Beauty Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no thirdclass carriages, and one soul is as good as another.

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It is long and hard and painful to create life: it is short and easy to steal the life others have made.

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