Adam Carolla Quotes, Accomplishment Quotes, Feel Good Quotes

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes , Feel Good Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , People Quotes

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

There are certain things women are better at than men.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Government Quotes , People Quotes