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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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- Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
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- There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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- The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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- The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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- You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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- Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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- When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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- Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.
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- I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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- The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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- Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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- No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
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- I get depressed at airports.
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- Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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- If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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- I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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- I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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- When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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