Adam Carolla Quotes, Sports Quotes, Dream Quotes

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dream Quotes

I'd never hurt another person.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Don’t do your best, do my best.

6 years ago

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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Names Quotes

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Government Quotes , People Quotes

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Realist Quotes

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hollywood Quotes , Connections Quotes

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

6 years ago

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I am not a good cue card reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mystery Quotes , Motto Quotes

I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes

A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it's not a great way to go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Practice Quotes , People Quotes

I know everything because I know nothing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes