Adam Carolla Quotes, Women Quotes

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Women Quotes

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Lazy Quotes

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Hollywood Quotes

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Government Quotes , People Quotes

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes , Rich Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Running Quotes , Car Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

6 years ago

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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Accomplishment Quotes , Feel Good Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes