Adam Carolla Quotes, Dog Quotes, Good Life Quotes

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dog Quotes , Good Life Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Trying Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Definitions Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , People Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Art Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smell Quotes , Judging Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

My first car was a motorcycle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Motorcycle Quotes

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Important Quotes , Ability Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes