Adam Carolla Quotes, People Quotes, Laughing Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

6 years ago

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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

6 years ago

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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

6 years ago

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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.

6 years ago

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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

6 years ago

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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

6 years ago

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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

6 years ago

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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

6 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes

I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe. I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out. So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

6 years ago

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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes