Adam Carolla Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Pie Quotes

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Definitions Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can't afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Travel Quotes , Knowing Quotes

Welfare is monetary methadone.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Welfare Quotes , Methadone Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Media Quotes , Worried Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Guy Quotes , Needs Quotes

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Life Is Quotes

I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Boxing Quotes

It's something I've always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Men Quotes , Rich Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Radio Quotes , Express Yourself Quotes

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Sex Quotes

What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hands Quotes , Common Sense Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes