Adam Carolla Quotes, Real Quotes, Golf Quotes

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Real Quotes , Golf Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheist Quotes

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Podcasting Quotes , Form Quotes

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Joy Quotes

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Pay Quotes , Taxes Quotes

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Life Is Quotes

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Book Quotes , Comedian Quotes

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Nice Quotes

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Opportunity Quotes , People Quotes

I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Emotional Quotes , Guy Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses. I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like - there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Different Quotes , Artistic Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes