Al Franken Quotes, Thinking Quotes, Firsts Quotes

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

6 years ago

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Changing technologies, changing marketplaces, and even changing trends in anti-competitive practices have all presented challenges to antitrust enforcement.

6 years ago

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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Should Have Quotes

Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn't been any radio that did that. And so they weren't trained - they had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.

6 years ago

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When you live in New York, one of two things happen - you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , New York Quotes , Two Quotes

Google might be doping the horses.

6 years ago

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I think if you're going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit, that he armed the Mujahideen, that he armed Saddam, that he armed Iran, that he armed two-thirds of the Axis of Evil, and that he funded terrorists in Central America. He was, in my mind, a terrible president.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Axes Quotes

The institutions that we've built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don't apply to the private sector. The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations. The Freedom of Information Act doesn't apply to Silicon Valley. And you can't impeach Google if it breaks its 'Don't be evil' campaign pledge.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Rights Quotes , Government Quotes

The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations.

6 years ago

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I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

6 years ago

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I believe in not attacking a country pre-emptively unless you're sure of what you're doing and you're working with allies.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Country Quotes , Believe Quotes

I believe people have a right to know what's going on with their information and how it's collected, how it's stored and who gets it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Believe Quotes , People Quotes

The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone - in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Vision Quotes , Balance Quotes

I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. 'It's a job, Al,' Guy told me. 'We work at it every day.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Couple Quotes

There's an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we're morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that's a bit dangerous.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Self Quotes

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it.

6 years ago

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Service dogs raise their masters' sense of well-being.

6 years ago

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When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn't exist, and we didn't need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.

6 years ago

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We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.

6 years ago

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Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus. I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it's a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us. And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Media Quotes