Al Franken Quotes, Circles Quotes, People Quotes

There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. - you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong, tend to be people who didn't take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Circles Quotes , People Quotes

The way I see it, I'm not going to Washington to be the 60th Democratic senator. I'm going to Washington to be the second senator from the state of Minnesota.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Minnesota Quotes , Way Quotes

It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , People Quotes , Wish Quotes

Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Neutrality Quotes , Net Neutrality Quotes

As a source of innovation, an engine of our economy, and a forum for our political discourse, the Internet can only work if it's a truly level playing field. Small businesses should have the same ability to reach customers as powerful corporations. A blogger should have the same ability to find an audience as a media conglomerate.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Powerful Quotes , Media Quotes

It's not preppies, cause I'm a preppie myself. I just don't like homosexuals. If you ask me, they're all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Philadelphia Quotes , Pudding Quotes

Harvard's Kennedy School of Government asked me to serve as a fellow at its Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics, and Public Policy. After my varied and celebrated career in television, movies, publishing, and the lucrative world of corporate speaking, being a fellow at Harvard seemed, frankly, like a step down.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , School Quotes , Government Quotes

It's the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Splendor Quotes , Comedy Quotes

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn't do the only job they're supposed to have, the only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Agency Quotes

I am a Minnesotan, and not just because I root for the Vikings and the Twins. I like the Minnesota-nice sensibility. I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Nice Quotes , Fighting Quotes

We know that the Russian's interfered in our election and they did it to benefit President Trump. The intelligence agencies confirmed that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , President Quotes

Google might be doping the horses.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Horse Quotes , Google Quotes

Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn't mean that you can't do something else and also make it sell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Mean Quotes , Radio Quotes

Too many people don't protect their smartphones with a password or PIN. I anticipate that Apple's fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Apples Quotes , Iphone Quotes

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Should Have Quotes

I think Hell exists on Earth. It's a psychological state, or it can be a physical state. People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell. I think there are all kinds of different hells. It's not a place you go to after you die.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Thinking Quotes , People Quotes

My spiritual life is... sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don't. When I do have access to it, it's usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do. By best, I mean when I have a real sense of doing the right thing and doing good for people and the connected universe of everybody.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Real Quotes

There's going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration's relationship to Russia.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Independent Quotes , Russia Quotes

Being a comedian, you're under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform - to deal with pressure without stress.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Franken Quotes , Stress Quotes , Comedian Quotes