Mark Twain Quotes, Sex Quotes, Men Quotes

Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.

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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.

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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sea Quotes , Clothes Quotes

Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.

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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

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No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.

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A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New Year Quotes , Holiday Quotes

Too much is just enough.

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By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.

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I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Literature Quotes

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Garden Quotes

As I have said before, I never had any large respect for good spelling. That is my feeling yet. Before the spelling-book came with its arbitrary forms, men unconsciously revealed shades of their characters, and also added enlightening shades of expression to what they wrote by their spelling, and so it is possible that the spelling-book has been a doubtful benevolence to us.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Respect Quotes , Book Quotes

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Twenties Quotes

A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without clothes to support it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Moving Quotes

It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Philosophical Quotes , Passion Quotes