Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Crazy Quotes

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Crazy Quotes

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Gratitude Quotes , Two Quotes

Few of us stand prosperity; another man's I mean.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mean Quotes , Men Quotes

Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Bitterness Quotes

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Effort Quotes

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Idiot Quotes

The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fiction Quotes , Requirements Quotes

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Party Quotes

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frogs Quotes , Ends Quotes

It is a gratification to me to know that I am ignorant of art... Because people who understand art find nothing in pictures but blemishes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , People Quotes

There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Encouragement Quotes , Stress Quotes

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mom Quotes , Baby Quotes

If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Weather Quotes , Waiting Quotes

Everything human is pathetic

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humans Quotes

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Wine Quotes

Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn; and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Order Quotes

But it is a blessed provision of nature that at times like these, as soon as a man's mercury has got down to a certain point there comes a revulsion, and he rallies. Hope springs up, and cheerfulness along with it, and then he is in good shape to do something for himself, if anything can be done.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cheer Quotes , Spring Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Start it at no particular time of your life; wander at your free will all over your life; talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment; drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Over You Quotes , Free Will Quotes