Mark Twain Quotes, Marriage Quotes, Girl Quotes

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Girl Quotes

A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Digging Quotes , World Quotes

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Hunger is the handmaid of genius

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Genius Quotes , Hunger Quotes

I deal with temptation by yielding to it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Temptation Quotes

He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel; he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Quality Quotes

Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Together Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Men Quotes

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Suicide Quotes

The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Littles Quotes

Now what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suffering Quotes , Body Quotes

By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently interested; don't know how I got in and can't find the way out, but I'm having a booming time all to myself.Don't know what a Schelgesetzentwurf is, but I keep as excited over it and as worried about it as if it were my own child. I simply live on the Sch.; it is my daily bread. I wouldn't have the question settled for anything in the world.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Reading Quotes

Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pride Quotes , Trouble Quotes

I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fifteen Quotes , Might Quotes

But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Aunt Quotes , Light Quotes

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Cat Quotes

I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That's bad enough for me.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Men Quotes

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Ornery Quotes