Mark Twain Quotes, Way Quotes

There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Way Quotes

If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Honor Quotes

When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nice Quotes , Writing Quotes

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Giving Quotes

I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolute.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Revolution Quotes , Sides Quotes

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Growing Up Quotes , Aunt Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Judgment Quotes

A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Men Quotes

I'm merely running some errands. This is now off the record.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , Records Quotes

I like criticism, but it must be my way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Criticism Quotes , Way Quotes

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Broken Quotes , Smoking Quotes

It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have been better for us-oh infinitely better for us-if the serpent had been forbidden

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Apples Quotes

Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Needs Quotes

I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Gold Quotes

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Country Quotes

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Coward Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes