Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Museums Quotes

Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Museums Quotes

When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Stupid Quotes

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Men Quotes

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , Weather Quotes

The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Skins Quotes

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Old Buildings Quotes , Age Quotes

We get our morals from books. I didn't get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books- theoretically at least.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Moral Quotes

If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Needs Quotes , Too Late Quotes

My interest in my work dies a sudden and violent death when the work is done.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Done Quotes , Violent Quotes

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorant Quotes , Body Quotes

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. See what happens when you "know it all", at any stage of life? Farther down the track you may see clearly how certain personal opinions, held onto too tightly, could be fogging up the view, and providing incorrect insight. Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Father Quotes

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Watches Quotes

We chase phantoms half the days of our lives. It is well if we learn wisdom even then, and save the other half.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Phantoms Quotes , Half Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Dread Quotes

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Giving Quotes , Furniture Quotes

There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Spiritual Quotes , Greed Quotes