Mark Twain Quotes, Editors Quotes, Eggs Quotes

The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Editors Quotes , Eggs Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Travel Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil, you will say that she did it with her teeth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knives Quotes , Perfect Quotes

Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Political Quotes

for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sanity Quotes , Reason Quotes

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Tails Quotes

They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Together Quotes

One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Criticism Quotes

The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Lying Quotes

All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Ornery Quotes

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes

There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Oratory Quotes , World Quotes

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Christianity will doubtless still survive in the earth ten centuries hence- stuffed and in a museum.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Museums Quotes , Earth Quotes

The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cost Of Living Quotes , Cost Quotes

I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Thinking Quotes