Mark Twain Quotes, San Francisco Quotes

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , San Francisco Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Romance Quotes

But that's always the way; it don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person's conscience ain't got no sense, and just goes for him anyway. If I had a yaller dog that didn't know no more than a person's conscience does I would pison him. It takes up more room than all the rest of a person's insides, and yet ain't no good, nohow.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Integrity Quotes

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Hamlet And Ophelia Quotes

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Addiction Quotes , Smoking Quotes

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moral Quotes , Cigar Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Arbitrary Quotes

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Exclamation Points Quotes

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vacancy Quotes , World Quotes

An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop.... I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Humble Quotes

I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Flower Quotes , Writing Quotes

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Educational Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won't do in your essays. What you do today is important, because you are sacrificing a day of your life for it. Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Sacrifice Quotes

No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Insanity Quotes

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Writing Quotes

Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dark Quotes , Doors Quotes

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Gratitude Quotes , Two Quotes