Mark Twain Quotes, Past Quotes, Firsts Quotes

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , Firsts Quotes

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Pain Quotes

Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Two Quotes

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Complaining Quotes

when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Doe Quotes

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Men Quotes

If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them -- you can't help it; and then it will take you the rest of the book to get them out of the natural consequences of that occurrence, and so first thing you know, there's your book all finished up and never cost you an idea.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Ideas Quotes

Our consciences take no notice of pain inflicted on others until it reaches a point where it gives pain to us.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Giving Quotes

If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Compounds Quotes , Knows Quotes

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Men Quotes

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Witty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Awards Quotes

Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Perfect Quotes , Dimensions Quotes

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Play Quotes

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Idiot Quotes , Evidence Quotes

I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Boys Quotes

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Better Days Quotes , Knows Quotes