Mark Twain Quotes, Lonely Quotes, New York Quotes

I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lonely Quotes , New York Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Suppose . . . burglars had made entry into this . . . [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring the light of their dark-lanterns over some books they found, and thus absorbing moral truths and getting moral uplift. The whole course of their lives would have been changed. As it was, they kept straight on in their immoral way and were sent to jail. For all I know, they may next be sent to Congress.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Uplifting Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Angel Quotes

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Past Quotes

I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Work Quotes

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Reality Quotes , Differences Quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Military Quotes

I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects werefor, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hate Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Interesting Quotes

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Growing Up Quotes , Aunt Quotes

The truth hurts, but silence kills.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Silence Quotes

I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Talking Quotes

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes , Mom Quotes