Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Change Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

The average man don't like trouble and danger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Average Quotes

One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Communication Quotes

Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rocks Quotes , Skins Quotes

When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Indulge In Quotes

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

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We adore titles and heredities in our hearts and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our democratic privilege.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Heart Quotes

Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Sick Quotes

There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Skills Quotes

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Littles Quotes

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil, you will say that she did it with her teeth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knives Quotes , Perfect Quotes

If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Men Quotes

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Smell Quotes , Giving Quotes

To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Writing Quotes

Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , Otters Quotes

Humor is tragedy plus time.

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Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Men Quotes

I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Forever Quotes

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Success Quotes