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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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- I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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- In Austria an editor who can write well is valuable, but he is not likely to remain so unless he can handle a sabre with charm.
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- I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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- When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.
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- There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
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- A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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- I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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- Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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- Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
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- Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I kept always cool and never let nature come to the surface? Nobody.
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- Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
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- Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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- If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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- A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.
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- Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed
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- I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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- All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.
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- Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.
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- Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation; the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure; at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
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