Mark Twain Quotes

In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.

6 years ago

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.

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A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.

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One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color.

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Dance like nobody's looking.

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Homely truth is unpalatable.

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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

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Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. You cannot eliminate habits that no longer serve you. You can only replace them with new habits that support your goals. Moment by moment, you need to live with awareness and structure the habits that you include or exclude in your days.

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A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.

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Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.

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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.

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If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

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The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.

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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.

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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

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A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.

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