Mark Twain Quotes, Sad Quotes, Laughter Quotes

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sad Quotes , Laughter Quotes

A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fun Quotes , World Quotes

There is nothing like instances to grow hair on a bald-headed argument.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hair Quotes , Argument Quotes

The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Lawyer Quotes

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

The problem with education is school.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Men Quotes

God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Eight Quotes

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atheist Quotes

Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , People Quotes

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Men Quotes

I'm all for prosperity. It's change I object to.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prosperity Quotes

She kept up her compliments, and I kept up my determination to deserve them or die.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Determination Quotes , Compliment Quotes

Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Men Quotes

Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Needs Quotes , Humans Quotes

A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get caught again.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Foolish Quotes

I have done more for San Francisco than any of its old residents. Since I left there it has increased in population fully 300,000. I could have done more - I could have gone earlier - it was suggested.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , San Francisco Quotes , Population Quotes

I was an arden Hayes man, but that was natural, for I was pretty young at the time, I have since convinced myself that the political opinioins of a nation are of next to no value, in any case, but that what little rag of value they posess is to be found among the old, rather than among the young.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Political Quotes

Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes