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  • Mark Twain Quotes   2407
  • It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sweet Quotes , Jealous Quotes
  • Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil, you will say that she did it with her teeth.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knives Quotes , Perfect Quotes
  • Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
  • Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , People Quotes
  • Evolution is the law of policies: Darwin said it, Socrates endorsed it, Cuvier proved it and established it for all time in his paper on The Survival of the Fittest. These are illustrious names, this is a mighty doctrine: nothing can ever remove it from its firm base, nothing dissolve it, but evolution.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Law Quotes
  • It is poison - rank poison - to knuckle down to care and hardships. They must come to us all, albeit in different shapes, and we may not escape them. It is not possible. But we may swindle them out of half of their puissance with a stiff upper lip.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Care Quotes , Shapes Quotes