Mark Twain Quotes, Ties Quotes, Stupidity Quotes

He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ties Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Speak Quotes

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Breathing Quotes , Luck Quotes

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Lying Quotes

The motto stated a lie. If this nation has ever trusted in God, that time has gone by; for nearly half a century almost its entire trust has been in the Republican party and the dollar--mainly the dollar. I recognize that I am only making an assertion and furnishing no proof; I am sorry, but this is a habit of mine; sorry also that I am not alone in it; everybody seems to have this disease.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Sorry Quotes

We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liberty Quotes , Ark Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes , Sunday Quotes

There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Stars Quotes , Science Quotes

A gentleman is a man who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Play Quotes

It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Benefits Quotes

I am only human, although I regret it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes

Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religion Quotes , Atheism Quotes

It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Forever Quotes

Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Knowledge Quotes , Otters Quotes

Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Men Quotes

Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Feelings Quotes , Ink Quotes

We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Ignorant Quotes

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Money Quotes